“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Tara Hudson, the embattled Marketing Manager of insurance broker Budget Direct, has slowly run her hands through her hair upon a shocking realisation during tonight’s Federal Budget.
“So wait, it’s Budget?” Hudson stammered as the ABC Budget coverage played on her television. “Like Bud – jet? Jesus Christ.”
Budget Direct has, for several years, run a widespread television and radio marketing campaign whereby a woman sings about the insurance firm in the shower, a concept inspired by true events.
However, Hudson’s future as Marketing Manager is in doubt after tonight’s grim discovery that the entire advertising initiative contained a mammoth mispronunciation.
“All of the ads said “Boo – jay, boo – jay,” Hudson stuttered, a glass of scotch shaking in her trembling hands. “We’ve been running those ads for years. How did no one mention it to us?”
The marketing blunder, that rival firms are already framing as “an unmitigated embarrassment”, became clear at the outset of Federal Treasurer Scott Morrison’s budget speech.
It is a moment Hudson will never forget. “The second ScoMo said Budget in the way that he did I just knew we’d fucked up.”
Hudson believes that problem can be solved, but acknowledges the challenge. “With the technology available to marketing grads in 2018, I should be able to go back and edit the sound of the ads so that the woman is singing “BUDGET BUDGET” in the shower. But I just can’t see that catching on.”
The blame does not, however, rest solely on Hudson’s shoulders. “What was the actress in the shower doing?” Hudson bemoaned. “What a mess. Hire French, they said. It’s a real win! Yeah we’re talking croissants, we’re talking fresh baguettes. Yeah we’re talking welfare, we’re talking funny hats. Bullshit!
“I make this pledge: Budget Direct will never hire French again. Never again, Macron.”
At press time, Hudson was recording voice memos into her laptop that she plans to insert into all advertising material using iMovie.
The 2018 Budget has many winners and losers. But that main loser, it has become apparent, is Budget Direct.