• UQLS ELECTIONS
  • About
  • ARTICLES
  • Contact
  • ARCHIVE
  • Investigations
  • PODCAST
Menu

The Obiter

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone Number
Australia's least trusted news

Your Custom Text Here

The Obiter

  • UQLS ELECTIONS
  • About
  • ARTICLES
  • Contact
  • ARCHIVE
  • Investigations
  • PODCAST

‘Nepotism Baby’ Allegations Levelled Against Traves As Family Ties To Salazar Slytherin Revealed

October 7, 2022 The Obiter

Some are saying she’s the most genuine and approachable candidate that has graced the election race in many years…but don’t be fooled by the soft exterior.

With a Silk for a father and a QUT law academic as a mother, there is no denying that presidential hopeful Charlotte ‘Lottie’ Traves comes from well-established stock.

But the depths of the Traves network was only fully realised late last night after a whistle-blower at Ancestry. com exclusively revealed to us a dark, albeit unsurprising, family secret - Lottie is the direct descendant of the UQLS’ first president, Salazar Slytherin.

The ardent pureblood is now refusing to rule out rumours that she will open the Level Twenty Seven Chambers of Secrets if she loses the UQLS presidential race.

Team Campion has been quick to respond to last night’s revelation, earlier this morning releasing a statement which read:

What do Draco Malfoy, Kaia Gerber and Lottie Traves have in common? No, it’s not devilishly good looks, it’s a bloodline that gives them a quiet helping hand in their respective industries!

When asked for comment, Traves simply told one of our reporters to ‘piss off, mudblood’.

The Obiter cannot disclose any further information out of genuine fear that we’ll be sued in the Federal Court by Traves KC.

← 'I'm Running For The UQLS Because I Want To Represent All 8 People That Came To Our Events This Year' Campion Refuses To Shave Pornstache, Campaign Manager Throws Himself In Front of Moving Truck →