Breaking news suggests that a local flake in Brisbane’s inner-western suburbs, Harold Robertson, receives little criticism for his flaky ways, because ‘shit, it’s just such good fun when he’s there.’
Harold, 19, has been known to his friends as a ‘flake’ for some time, much to their occasional annoyance. The Macquarie Concise Dictionary defines a ‘flake’ as ‘someone who generally makes plans with you, promises to do things with you, or for you, but can never seem to follow through. When confronted with their behavior they usually get defensive and run away.’
According to Mark Dickson and Sarah Chamilleon, they first realized Harold’s flaky character when he started using the phrases “Yeah, I’ll probably be able to make it,” and “ooh maybe,” excessively. After months of Harold saying he would be “keen,” but then pulling out at the last minute, he was formally given Flake classification by the Federal Agency for the Identification and Classification of Flakes (FAICF).
However, in a shocking twist, Harold’s friends are claiming his flaky nature doesn’t matter. Why? “Because, fuck, he’s just so fucking good when he actually comes.” It seems that by possessing a winning personality, Harold has been able to overcome the downsides of flakiness, with the raw power of his charm. When questioned further, Sarah acknowledged that “…it is shitty how flaky he is. But when he shocks us all and actually turns up? It’s like the Second Coming of the Messiah. It’s Biblical. He’s just that good!”
The Obiter decided to investigate further, and meet Harold ourselves. After six months of trying to make plans, we can confirm; he’s Barrack Obama, crossed with Heath Ledger, crossed with an adorable neighbourhood Labrador. Who wouldn’t forgive him for being flake central!?