‘Guys, if we all do it, we can’t get in trouble. They can’t punish a group of people!’ insisted 3rd-year student Craig, after suspiciously completing an online mid-semester quiz in 5 minutes of the allotted hour.
For Mr. Craig Tree (21), the alleged academic colluder, subtly cheating in small ways are just one of his many larrikinistic ways, learnt from his time at an elite Brisbane boarding school. He parks in the St. Lucia parking area for more than two hours, he uses the Merlo water glasses to score the 50c KeepCup discount - and more.
Despite the aforementioned acts of rebellion, Craig firmly believes nothing compares to the mid-semester thrill of collusion. As Craig shared with us, ‘...guys. You HAVE to collude.’
Apparently, nothing beats the feeling, the raw thrill, of being surrounded by your colleagues eagerly cheering you on in hushed voices as you attempt to complete a squiz, copying their answers, whilst simultaneously placing obscure multi bets on Far North Queensland dog races.
What’s more, in an unprecedented revelation, Mr. Tree has found a loophole in assessment rules which the TCB School of Law is completely unaware of.
According to Craig, this loophole is ‘... If everybody does it, then no-one can get caught. It’s in the University Constitution or something, you can’t fail a whole cohort for collusion.’
When The Obiter tried to reach Craig for further comment, he said he was busy, and had to run to an interview at a top-tier Brisbane law firm. We can’t confirm the position he is interviewing for, but we suspect it was a position created to shore up his family’s wealth and legacy - but the interview was ‘by no means secured through family connections.’