Workplaces across Australia have expressed a mix of joy and surprise after enjoying their most productive Monday ever recorded.
‘We have hit goals that we did not expect to be reached until July 2020,’ General Manager of Ernst & Young, David Rich, told The Obiter.
According to research conducted very quickly and efficiently, the workforce of Australia have enabled this ground-breaking day by reducing their social media usage at work by a whopping 8000%.
‘It’s like no one was on Facebook or Instagram all day,’ CFO of Herbert Smith Freehills Adam McMoney reported.
‘Even Google was avoided, just to be safe.’
Reportedly, online socialising was not the only communication reduced today. People were seen walking hurriedly through work corridors, eyes down, fingers in ears, yelling ‘DON’T, DON’T, FUCKING DON’T.’
While the origins of this productivity are yet to be discovered, one thing can be certain: Bran dies.
Way more to come.