Parkes Promises to take the UQLS in One Direction: Straight to the Top

“What Makes the UQLS Beautiful?”, you wonder. Well, according to candidate Parkes it’s the advertising done in her Designs portfolio in 2026.

Parkes, who is the oldest of three sisters, spent the last year as President of a feminist society that she has been strategically avoiding naming to avoid breaching Bylaw 101(7) prohibiting endorsements from any organisation.

If elected, she would be the third person to jump from the designs portfolio to the presidency in the last four years, prompting the Obiter to conduct an investigation into how Big Canva is blackmailing other VPs away from higher office.

Parkes, who has adopted a campaign mantra of talking to people because it’s nice to feel heard, is proposing the following policies to the UQLS faithful.

1. The UQLS adopting a penguin as an emotional support pet.

2. Hosting Law Ball in Antarctica so she can tick another continent off her list

3. Replacing the bylaws with an allegorical work of YA fiction

The Obiter is excited to learn how many exec Bali trips will be cancelled to fund the law ball relocation.

More to come