‘First you voted that Michael Berksman chump in, and now this! I’ve had it with you wokies!’ exclaimed Richard Wilson (52), frantically opening his CommBank account to check if he had any money left after the Green’s success in their once safe Liberal inner-western Brisbane seat.

**********

It’s been a tough week for Richard Wilson.

First, it was HR telling him that his aspiration of becoming a Partner at BHWE Lawyers was not to be for another year, then it was the realisation that his daughter had once again shared his Stan password with his ex-wife, and now this - a Greenie becoming their federal member in a seat that use to be held by upwards of a 20% margin by his beloved Liberals in years gone by.

‘How do you expect us to make it to Thredbo in the next three years now?!’ an exasperated Richard asked his daughter, Molly Nolan (21), chastising her for her part in the inevitable tanking of the economy.

Richard had found out how his daughter had voted last night after he’d seen a post on her insta story which read: ‘GREENSLAND WOO WOO!!! GREENSLIDE!! GO GET A REAL JOB HULIAN PIMMONDS LMAOO’.

Left fuming, Richard, who had worked day and night as a soulless corporate hack over the years to help fund Molly’s private school education, was left with no choice but to hike up his daughter’s rent.

‘That’ll teach her,’ he muttered under his breath, secretly hoping that this firm response to his daughter’s betrayal might also make her reconsider this whole bisexual lifestyle thing.

No more to come.