Michael Winston (21) - PPE student and avid UQDS debater - used two points of substantive and two points of rebuttal to explain why it wasn’t wrong for him to cheat on his girlfriend of two years.

Ellie Delcor was gutted to find out her ‘loving’ boyfriend of two years had cheated on her with another woman.

“How could you Michael, that is a terrible thing for a person to do,” she said.

“Ad hominem,” he retorted.

“The old you would have never done such a thing!” she sobbed.

“Strawman,” he rebutted.

Ellie was silenced by Michael’s seemingly complete lack of empathy.

“Good evening chairperson, ladies and gentlemen,” he said.

“Michael it’s just me here,” Ellie emphasised.

“I have two points of substantive,” he continued “First, we were on a break.”

The Obiter found out that Michael meant he had decided 20 minutes before the cheating occurred that they were on a break and had not discussed it with Ellie.

“Second, I am polyamourous.”

The Obiter discovered that he did not know the name of the other women he had slept with and had googled polyamoury while Ellie was confronting him.

“You’re hopeless,” Ellie said, leaving their table at Sassafras of Paddington.

Michael did not disagree with that point.

No more to come.