Allegedly, millennial Carter Beatty has aggressively orgasmed mid-way through La Boite Theatre’s current production of ‘The Dead Devils of Cockle Creek,’ due to an urgent and intense truth overload.
Mr Beatty, or ‘Sock’ as his peers call him, was planning a pleasant evening at Kelvin Grove’s premier hub for daring and courageous theatrical experiences. “Everything was going smoothly,” Sock explained to The Obiter the following day, when we caught up at an Adani protest. “I settled into my seat, excited for a night of bold drama. But I wasn’t ready for anything this bold.”
The Australian play tells the story of a rouge environmentalist living deep in the Tasmanian wilderness as she fights to stop Tasmanian Devil tumours being harvested by a chicken nugget factory. The dramatic arc, which tackles edgy yet very accessible topics such as One Nation, Trump voters and (yep) capitalism, proved too much for the thrift-shop Levi’s jeans of this millennial.
“It was as if the playwright cracked open a Kombucha of truth and started spitting it all over the stage,” Sock said in awe, before pausing to ensure we’d written his analogy down. “One moment I was enjoying the action, the next I was in the clutches of an almighty ‘gasm that rocked me all the way to my fucking core.”
Luckily for Sock, the team at La Boite were more than prepared for this type of situation. “The rabid orgasms of coastal elites is something we address on Day One of our training,” Head Usher Destineé Smallcomb revealed to The Obiter via Whatsapp. “In fact, every trainee is given mop lessons each week as a refresher.”
At press time, Sock was predicted to make a full recovery. “As long as I avoid Pedestrian.tv and Triple J for the next few days, I should be back to sensual normality in no time.”
Let this serve as a warning to millennials of Brisbane: the theatre can be a dangerous place for those who aren’t prepared to get waterboarded in unfiltered, raw progressive juice.
More to come.