Robert Paulson (27), a local accountant and completely blind man, has shocked his office today with the revelation that he’s ‘never seen Game of Thrones.’
Touted as the new veganism, the declaration that one has never seen HBO’s fantasy megahit has been criticised as a needless attempt to signal one’s freethinking, independent mind, that isn’t ruled by the little rows of pixels that we call television.
And for Paulson’s office, the mid-tier accounting firm Strickland & Associates, Robert’s declaration that he’s simply never witnessed ‘Game Of Thrones’ with his own eyes has led to genuine outrage.
‘How have you avoided it? It’s seriously, like, the best. I mean, Jon? Sansa? Daenerys? Robin Arryn’s raw eroticism, embodied in him sucking on nipples like his life depends on it?’ questioned Lara Rogers in HR, the quizzical look on her face pretty much lost on Robert.
‘Yeah, as I said, I’ve just never found the time, nor the capacity, to see it,’ responded Robert, before being sharply cut off by the CFO’s loud declaration of ‘bullshit! It’s the best, bro!’
However, despite the harsh reaction of Robert’s office, inside sources suggest that Robert’s claim to have never seen ‘Game Of Thrones’ may be masking the truth - that he is a huge fan of George RR Martin’s written work, and has listened to the audiobooks of ASOIAF on countless occasions.
His deskmate, Brandon Steyn, revealed to us in a hushed interview in a crypt below Eagle Street.
‘Robert’s rebellion against Game of Thrones was built on a lie. He’s never been not a fan. He’s listened to the audiobooks.’
However, regardless of the veracity of Robert’s claim, our reports indicate his deaf friends have all ‘never heard of it.’
Nothing more to see here!