• UQLS ELECTIONS
  • About
  • ARTICLES
  • Contact
  • ARCHIVE
  • Investigations
  • PODCAST
Menu

The Obiter

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone Number
Australia's least trusted news

Your Custom Text Here

The Obiter

  • UQLS ELECTIONS
  • About
  • ARTICLES
  • Contact
  • ARCHIVE
  • Investigations
  • PODCAST

Bobby Shmurda Accepts Plea Deal, Charges Downgraded to Shmoluntary Shmanshlaughter

August 28, 2019 The Obiter
shmurda.png

Hip hop fans the world over are today celebrating news that one hit wonder Bobby Shmurda will no longer face the possibility of the death penalty, after reaching a plea deal with Texas prosecutors to downgrade his shmurda charge to shmoluntary shmanshlaughter.

The Brooklyn-born rapper, who rose to fame with a song the title of which this writer does not feel comfortable transcribing, is said to be shmoneying with joy at the news.

Perhaps the Patient Zero of getting a rap career off the ground through memes, modern hip hop owes so much to the visionary rapper, whose model for success has since underpinned the rise of artists like Denzel Curry and, most importantly, Lil Nas X.

With this remarkable legacy, it would be a shame to see Mr Shmurda rot behind bars, unable to continue to leave his mark on the music industry.

Thankfully, the countdown is on until Shmurda is eligible for parol and the world can finally return to its rightful state: with a dangerous criminal making mediocre music.

Godspeed.

Tags Law
← Brisbane Man Plans To Stick It To Mates On Exchange By Really Fucking Going For It Friday Night Frustrated Contracts Lecturer Gruesomely Tears ACL →