1st Year Commerce Student Eliza Chapman has today been walloped by the proverbial hammer of truth, learning that her ECON1020 lecturer doesn’t actually speak like the eponymous hero of Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Chapman had been amused for weeks by the fact that the lecturer in question, Dr Bruce Littleboy, seemingly had the voice of a little boy. However, after finally dragging herself to the UQ Centre for once in her life, she has left bitterly disappointed.

“He… he has a completely normal voice” choked Chapman through tears at press time.

“I mean.. you think you know someone, love someone even, and their weird, super fast, Christopher Pyne-esque voice, and then it’s… it’s just all been a lie? A big fat ruse? Honestly its kind of a wig out.”

It is undoubtedly a wig out, Ms Chapman. A real big wig out indeed.

Absolutely no more to come.