President-Elect Chloe O’Sullivan attempts to win “broke” vote with promise of UQLS Office Tea & Coffee station.

The overwhelming majority of law school students left perplexed as to why anyone would need to buy coffee when their trust fund covers it.

 With the recent news that Chloe O’Sullivan is reportedly running for UQLS president, we here at the obiter have put on our deerstalker caps and busted out our calabash pipes to dig deep on her presidential campaign.

O’Sullivan has suggested quite a few changes to UQLS operation, changes that have left students nervously wondering if the society is more than just an excuse for GPS alumni to have a designated table in the law library via the UQLS office. The campaign has seen significant attention particularly with its promise to overturn previous party rulings on the segregation of mooters by allowing them to talk about their “extracurricular” in the office. Additionally, The Obiter questions the proposal to cut minor events, praying that the UQLS annual sperm race will not be on the chopping block.

Via the utilisation of the Obiter’s immense intelligence network, access to O’Sullivan’s “Sony Shots” Instagram account uncovered a wealth of highly concerning information: ties to the Woods Deputy President campaign and even more shocking… potential collusion with presidential candidate Melodi Kizil. Could it be that the presidential race is secretly subject to the manipulation of a sinister third party? And does this have anything to do with the network of tunnels hidden beneath the great court?

While the Obiter admits that this would be “totally dope” and still endorses the spread of wild conspiracy theories, in the name of journalistic integrity we must admit that the truth of the matter is that despite opposing political aspirations the candidates are seemingly “just friends”. Bummer.