After an early university career of tomfoolerous hijinks, the real world is coming for Tom Jones with a vengeance. Grad offers have been released, and like thousands of other former private school students across the nation, Jones can no longer hide behind sandstone walls.

For reasons lost to time, Jones was bestowed the fresher name "munch", which has pride of place under his profile picture. Looking back at this, and the absolute scenes on his timeline, Jones is struck by terror.

"Fuck, what if HR from Mallies sees this? The M&A Partner is an oldboy, but HR... my Dad doesn't know anyone there."

He moves his cursor rapidly, archiving any and all O-week related content and 21st Birthday Facebook tributes from the likes of 'Bricks', 'Schmiller', and 'Crusty Pete'. All highly offensive to modern sensibilities.

"Right, now the name change. Maybe my middle name instead of the last? Tom Joseph. That works. They won't find my Facebook if I'm Tom Joseph."

Pleased with his cunning plan, Jones closed his laptop, unaware he hadn't clicked 'save changes'.