It appears that Vladimir Putin has grown tired of playing puppeteer to the free world and has taken on his biggest challenge yet.
In a global exclusive, The Obiter’s Moscow correspondent caught up Mr Putin deep in the Kremlin.
‘Da, manipulating US presidency was challenge but only practice for greatest test yet’
When asked how he planned on winning the hearts and minds of the Australian populace his answer was simple.
Season 6 of ‘The Bachelor.’
‘It is simple, I send highly trained KGB agent Igor Dockmanovich, code name ‘Dasha,’ to steal love of Australian sport man.’
And the plan appears to be working, we caught Dasha scurrying around the air vents of the Bachelor mansion, and were able to interview her briefly. She made some intriguing comments about winning the affections of Nick Cummins as the first step toward genuine infiltration.
‘Like taking sugar from infant, I implant tracker while distracting with handstand.’
The plan appears to be working. While the girls sit and discuss Vanessa Sunshine’s villain status, Dasha has made quick work planting bugs in strategic locations around the mansion.
‘I am prepared to kill in order to achieve my objective.’
Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, Dasha.