Big news coming today out of West LA. Beloved superhero, and principal of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, Captain Underpants, has just been MeToo’d by two passionate investigative journalists, and in many respects, survivors - George Beard and Harold Hutchins themselves!
Beard and Hutchins are now the CEOs of the incredibly successful ‘Treehouse Comix Inc’ media corporation, but today, they returned to their elementary school to reveal the inappropriate actions of a man they trusted enormously.
Turns out you can’t just wear nothing but underpants around children. And even more egregiously, he strips constantly. Constantly! The man could almost be called Captain Stripping, if Captain Underpants wasn’t so bloody accurate!
If he’d rocked up to school wearing underpants, perhaps the case could be made that that was genuinely his approach to uniform and clothing - but he strips! The man strips! This is clear evidence of an intent to expose youth to the naked flesh of a flabby principal/superhero.
Pretty disgusting actions, and we’re sure they will be hammered, as they rightfully should be. For any budding Captain Underpants copycats out there, we have but one message. Don’t you dare.