Fuck the Barefoot Investor, I’ve just increased my wealth twofold after receiving the $5 voucher after donkey voting in the elections. Like many of you I woke up Sunday morning with a headache, a questionable bruise and $2.41 in my Youth Saver account. While some will see a problem, the successful will see an opportunity
Financial advisors aka ‘The Fun Police’ may describe my ‘habit’ of spending every last drop of my youth allowance on food and alcohol as reckless or irresponsible but I’m here to tell that they are plain wrong.
Let’s take a look.
Adjusted returns of funds indexed against the ASX over the past decade have given per annum returns of 5.7%. That’s great and all but I’m here to tell you how to generate a whopping 207% return in a day.
Simply purchase a 3-zone off peak student TransLink ticket for $2.41 and head to the UQ Lakes Bus Stop. From here make your way up past the Red Room to the Holt Room where you can vote (Authors Note: Some advisors advocate travelling to Chancellors Place however this increases the distance travelled through pesky student politicians).
If you are accosted about voting, simply smile and say ‘I’ve already voted’ (sneaky sneaky).
Wait for the sweet, sweet ‘Next please!’ from the voting clerk who looks very ready to end it all and there you have it, you’ve invested your pitiful $2.41 and generated a big strong fiver.*
Now, go forth into the world knowing that your financial future is on the up… As long as Mum is still good to pick you up.
*Not redeemable for cash and valid only at participating UQU outlets.