Whatever you do, don’t listen to Rex Orange County: lovin ain’t easy, as Jack Powell (21) has learned over the last few days.
The fourth year Science/Commerce student has been walking the tightrope of courtship following a short kiss with Kate Hill (20) at Friday’s on Saturday night. Powell, indelibly struck by his riverside enchantress, has decided that the slim chance of more sweet hookies in the future is worth the absolute torture of crafting a next-day message.
Unfortunately for Powell, his charm has faltered without the assistance of 10 black rats and the dulcet tones of Duke Dumont. Miraculously though, his incredibly unimaginative text of “how’d you pull up? haha” was met with a prompt and reasonably enthusiastic answer of “poorly haha hbu?”.
Buoyed by this response, Powell has decided to commence Phase 2 of his Relationship Development Plan by tagging Ms Hill in every shit meme about dogs that he can find.
Whether it’s a photo of a dog stung by a bee or a fucking shit joke about “puppers”, Ms Hill will he tagged, assured Powell at press time.
“Maybe we’ll get married one day. Maybe she’ll block me on all social media. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m going to tag her in every post even vaguely related to dogs until one of those things eventuates. Cheers cunts” read Powell in a prepared statement.
Inspiring words. No more to come.