In heartbreaking scenes, The Obiter can exclusively reveal that the second week of the midsemester break also has no clue what to do with itself.
In a move some viewed with hope, and others viewed with fear, a second week was added to the midsemester break in Semester 1, ostensibly for the ‘Commonwealth Games.’ But apart from the people who spend one hour at the athletics and post eleven Instagram stories of it, very few are using the break to visit the Games.
Many students have reported feeling ‘lost,’ and ‘confused.’ They are not alone; our analysis indicates that whilst 82% of students caught up on ‘some’ work during the first week, that number has dropped to 43% in the second week. Whilst this may simply indicate students completed their work in the first week, we have also seen some alarming numbers about Netflix viewing. 97% of students reported Netflix usage in the first week. But in week two? A pathetic 64%. It seems like students honestly just don’t know what to do with themselves.
But they’re not alone.The second week of the break also has no idea what to do with itself. All sources indicate it’s been sitting at home, intermittently getting excited by a text in the group chat, or a mouthwatering UberEats order.
When we interviewed the second week of the break, about what the highlight of the extended break has been, it seemed confused.
‘I’ve… I’ve almost never been in this position before. Usually I’m the second week of the winter or summer holidays, and there’s always something for me to do. But now, I… I don’t know,’ it said, checking Blackboard for the ninth time that day.
This is a truly sorry sight, and one that broke our hearts. Things are getting so bad for the second week, it’s begun to try to relive the first week, by hiding Easter eggs around the house, becoming so blindingly inebriated it forgets where it hid them, and then having a joyous Wednesday morning of searching for them.
Amidst all this waywardness, there is some hope. With effectively five days of holidays left, the second week has decided to become fit, going for a 2km run this morning and stretching for three minutes. We expect this to last until Monday the 16th.