The High Court today handed down its highly anticipated judgement regarding one of the more vexing issues of the modern era.
The case of Lachie v All Of His Mates has received unprecedented attention as it moved its way up through the state courts, ultimately coming to its final appeal before the full bench of the High Court.
Lachie entered the legal and political fray early this year when he admitted to his friends that he had “never seen an episode of Parks & Rec.” Representatives for the plaintiffs responded swiftly. “What the fuck mate? It’s the best. It’s actually so funny dude!”
Legal action ensued, and the High Court has unanimously ruled that Lachie needs to “stop being a fucking goose” and “just smash through it.”
The nation’s highest court left no doubt as to the resolution of this issue, stating “you have just got to watch Parks & Rec. You haaaaaaaaaaave to. Like, legitimately. We are the High Court. It’s the actual law.”
“It’s so fucking good dude,” Chief Justice Kiefel wrote in her judgement. “So funny.”
Lachie’s legal team predominantly based their defence on the fact that “there’s like 16 seasons mate, I’m only just getting through The Office.”
The High Court, however, did not believe that the argument held merit. “You’ll get the memes mate,” Justice Keane write. “Is it a banger? Haha. So funny… Zing!”
The High Court similarly rejected Lachie’s submission that it’s too hard to find.
“It’s on Stan, you turkey!” an uncharacteristically agitated Justice Gordon bemoaned. “All 21 seasons! I’ll give you my log in, just seriously watch it. So funny.”
Lachie has been given 2 swotvacs to watch the 33 seasons before being held in contempt of court.
It’s so funny.
Pictured: the view from the bench in 'Lachie's Case.'