It’s International Women’s Day, and what better way to address the impacts of gendered oppression than inhaling some pink and purple donuts (prepared by women) at a firm-wide morning tea.

At least, that’s what Roger Jones (41), a barely-competent associate responsible for organising the shitty event, thought.

This #IWD, Jones felt like he had pulled out all the stops. He had reminded ‘the women of the office’ to bring homemade baked goods, and even printed off fun slogans like “Who Run the World?” from Word to pin up around the place. The only thing missing was female colleagues who felt respected and valued in the workplace.

For days prior to the morning tea, Jones had been heard repeating things like “allyship feels good”, “I’m actually super comfortable in my masculinity”, and “when’s International Men’s Day though, hey boys???”

It was comments like this that led ‘the women of the office’ to take particular delight in Jones choking on a donut after he mansplained to them how donuts are made.

Melissa White, a former MD turned lawyer, begrudgingly performed the Heimlich maneuver on Jones, which brought the hilarity to an end.

Jones has so far declined to comment on the incident, but did tell a female Obiter reporter that he is currently single.

No more to come.