Call me a long-haired, blonde-haired Sean Bean, but I can't believe what has just happened. For half a year now, that random desk in the Law Library near the printers has stood there with a sign on it saying 'For Display Only'.
"Ridiculous", we at The Obiter thought. "What's the point of it?"
Well, it turns out globe-trotting adventurer Nicolas Armory Cage and his ragtag bunch of treasure-finding misfits knew all the point. And they knew it all along.
Last night, between the hours of 2am and 3am, Nicholas infiltrated the Lawbry having stole the fingerprints of Rick Bigwood, snuck past the one security guard and a bunch of people playing Warcraft (or something like that - who knows!) to successfully drill under the desk and steal the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America!
This is huge news! For ages we thought the Dec of 'Pendy (as it's commonly called) was held under super-high security in the United States' National Museum of United States and Guns.
But no, it was in a secret compartment in the desk all along! THAT'S why we can't use it!
Nicholas Cage, when asked at gunpoint, relinquished his silence and revealed he was going to crack the code hidden in the paper to save his dying GPA, which has sufferred ever since missing a whole semester to film The Sorcerers' Apprentice with the UQ Theatresports Society.
We wish him the very best of luck. He's a national treasure, right?
Maybe more to come if we get funding for a sequel.