In a move that has thoroughly confounded storytellers the world over, third-year UQ student Grace Allan has folded time.

In the conversational equivalent of a quantum leap, Grace managed to reclassify her rambling diatribe about spotting her ex-boyfriend Tyler, a Grammar bloke she dated for what was essentially 15 minutes in first year, as a succinct, compact summary of the event by deploying one phrase.

‘So long story short, I just really don’t know what he thinks gives him the right to purchase a coffee at Merlos,” Grace said as her banal monologue hit the 45-minute mark. Incredible strategy from Grace - now she seems like a pacy storyteller and not one of her friends knew any better!

In a further twist, Grace managed to humbly raise her bat towards the Vulture Street end after hitting the half century of 50 minutes following a last-minute thought about the way his choice of jeans provided compelling evidence that he is now having thing with Amber.

It is great to see a young orator of Grace’s skill hoodwink her mates.

Long story short, more to come.