With rampant inflation making life tough for many Aussies, RM-Australian and BEL Building local Alexander von Wankerstein-Ponsonby decided to share some tales from his working-class past with his fellows at the Aston by-election Young Liberal volunteer drive.

“Yes my old chap, the GFC back in ’09 truly hit us hard in Hamilton, I can definitely relate to all the working class Australians queuing at food lines.”

A chorus of sympathetic nods greeted his opener.

“I recall going to the RM store and not being able to get the Ostrich Leather Signature Craftsman made for my commencing prep at St Bartholomew’s. Daddy said I would have to tolerate the Comfort Craftsman! Can you imagine! A rubber soled RM!”

Chief Assistant Vice Under-Secretary of the Vaucluse branch, Montgomery Keanes was shocked into replying. “By God Ponsonby! You may as well get Blundstones if you’re going to do that!”

“Yes Monty, but that’s not even the half of it. We could only go skiing in Queenstown and had to sell up the Chalet in France. It was tough, but should make my future campaign to win back middle-class Australia a bit easier with that bit of relatability. Anyway, what seat are you good chaps looking at challenging the Teals for? Give them a bit of the old 1-2…”

Your reporter excused himself to go vomit in the manicured shrubbery. No more to come.