All across Australia, casual rugby league fans are gearing up for the one time of year they pay any attention to the game, providing their hot takes and aggressive opinions to anyone who will listen.
However, some are slightly more informed than others.
Rob Bassingthwaite (23), a final-year Arts/Law student, who could name the entire Reds squad without blinking an eyelid, is telling anyone who will listen that ‘...the loss of Cammy Cronk will really make the ruck harder to operate. And think of the game management! Why will no-one think of the game management?’
Rob thinks of himself as a bit of a Renaissance man, dabbling in sports, the arts, politics, and culture with the fine precision of a well-educated gentleman.
But unfortunately, he surrounds himself with friends who know a thing or two about league - and they have been all too happy to describe him to The Obiter as ‘objectively, a fucking idiot.’
Sarah O’Reilly (22), a classmate of Rob’s, and a lifelong Queensland Maroons fan, has found herself very irked at Rob’s constant chirp about ‘Scott Thurston’ and ‘JT’s the man… how could they forget The Man?’
Speaking exclusively about her distress, Sarah indicated she was happy league was getting the recognition it deserved, but ‘...pretty peeved blokes like Rob are passing themselves off as experts. I think I genuinely heard him suggest Quade Cooper should be making his way into the Maroons forward pack - and that they should bring back Russell Crowe as coach.’
As soon as the 2018 Origin series is over, Rob will return to his humble ignorance. But for now, those in his immediate circle must suffer the insufferable.