‘Yuuuup nothing to see here’ whistled Warnie, as he inconspicuously ventured into the sent items of a few of his old Hotmail accounts, deleting a number of the medium-to-large sized MB photos that he’d sent to Lis Hurley, Marilyn Monroe, and the Pope, amongst others.

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Jaw-dropping news struck yesterday, with revelations coming out that an elite, high-paid athlete, with a loving wife and kids, would dare dream of sending unsolicited pictures of his old out-swinging balls to a young female employee.

Cricket Australia have since apologised for thinking it was somehow a good idea to let a bloke cheating on his wife by sending unwanted dick pics to take over as captain from somehow who’d just been stood down for being a cheat.

Turns out the best bloke in the Australian cricket team is still a bit of a flog.

As the news broke that squeaky-clean Paine wasn't as much as a good bloke as what we'd thought, Shane ‘Warnie’ Warne, amongst a cohort of several other former Australian cricketing icons, fortuitously provided no comment on Tim Paine’s indiscretions, instead taking the time to delete a couple of thousand naughty emails that he’d smashed into his windows desktop keyboard on a few drizzling evenings in the 90s.

Investigations into the sexting scandal involving Paine are still ongoing, with our writers not certain on whether the former Australian wicket-keeper captain indeed sent pictures of his genitalia, or just of David Warner’s face. A disgraceful act nonetheless.

Earlier this morning, we contacted the Barmy Army lyricist for comment.

“Couldn’t have cum at a better time, we say! Haha! Wicketkeeper more like keep your dick in your pants you dosser!

No more.