The UQLS Valedictory was hosted last night, in what can only be described as a resounding success of an event and a credit to Social Events VP Gauravi Baral.
But while the returning officers were too busy fulfilling ECP duties to pay attention to any breaches of the bylaws, the Obiter spotted many potential election candidates using the event as an opportunity to politick and network in the final days of the campaign.
And after two moving keynote speeches, from Justice Philippides on the importance of arts and humanities in law and the duty we owe to society to use our fortunate positions for good, and from Dr Greg Dale on how he hates most of his job but the people make it worthwhile, it didn’t take long for the campaigning to begin.
Sophie Szabo, currently uncontested for treasurer, was demonstrating her skills at mental arithmetic by counting how many drinks her table had consumed, in a move that will certainly assuage any concerns about her capability to balance the budget while participating in Jessup.
And the Obiter believes it may also have intercepted a blackmail note from Adwaith Anil directed at Danya Mody, threatening to expose the DW VP’s history of death threats towards the Obiter Editor if she runs for Deputy President from the floor.
But not everyone was optimistic. For a couple of VP candidates running in contested elections, it seemed like back-up plans were already being considered. This writer doesn’t think he’s ever heard the phrase “if I don’t get it I’ll just run for L Card officer” so many times in such a short span.
Most notable, however, was the altercation that occurred between the two candidates for the External Competitions Vice-Presidency. Candidates Herrington (Unjust Enrichment, Vis “25) and Hanigan (Deakin, Vis “26) were seen fighting on the dancefloor in an effort to assert dominance in the most hotly contested race of the year. At first it could have been confused for enthusiastic dancing, but when the DJ played a 20-minute all-spoken remix of Troye Sivan’s “Party” without letting the beat drop, nothing could be confused for vibing in the club. This was a full on brawl.
Lucas Herrington, who is hoping electors mistakenly believe they are voting for young Australian footballer of the year, threw a fist at Hanigan. Jackson Hanigan, currently engaged in a religious conquest to reunify Ireland (in CK3) responded with a punch of his own.
When the Obiter approached incumbent VP Emily Johns to ask why she didn’t organise a moot-off for the role of moot club captain, she took a sip of wine from her Sarah Derrington trophy and made the following remark: “What I am most proud of in my 6 years in UQ Law is how many little teeny first years I bullied into signing up for Junior Moot this year when I told them they wouldn’t get a job if they didn’t. This role is about fear, and power, and intimidation. Only the strongest survive, and only the strongest deserve it.”
“So this is what a weekend feels like,” remarked Internal Competitions VP Tayiah Zabala, merely one day released from a year long curse to never leave the LS Office on a Saturday, “when Emily yelled at those kids I needed to do the admin to manage 500 Junior Moot teams and associated judges. I’m free. I can, like, have fun. What even is fun? I hope I haven’t forgotten.”
The Obiter hopes Tayiah is doing alright and is excited for the next stage of her life.
As this writer departed the event to catch the last bus home he witnessed an ambulance pull up to the Sofitel and a 22-year-old male brought into it on a stretcher. The Obiter invites all intrigued readers to show up to the AGM to find out which candidate it was.
More to come.
