Russia To Cheer Themselves Up Over Medvedev Defeat By Invading Neighbouring Sovereign State

‘That’ll show them,’ spat a sour Daniil Medvedev (25, Russian Tennis Player, Not the 2022 Australian Open Grand Slam Men’s Singles Champion, Flog).

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Historic scenes in Melbourne last night, with Rafael Nadal taking home a record 21st men’s Grand Slam title, defeating archetypal Russian villain, Daniil Medvedev, in five sets.

While an unquenchable thirst for power and influence was enough of a reason for Putin to invade his eastern european neighbour, his sulky teenager top athlete being beaten by a champion Spaniards has certainly pushed him over the edge, quite literally.

‘That’ll show them,’ spat a sour Daniil Medvedev (25, Russian Tennis Player, Not the 2022 Australian Open Grand Slam Men’s Singles Champion, Flog) when one of our reporters advised him of this news.

The angry Russian then proceeded to tell our correspondent that he was a ‘little cat’ who should ‘look at [him] when [he] talks to him!’. Nice fella.

No more to come.