Outgoing member for Warringah, and former Prime Minister, Tony Abbott has found himself out of a job after losing the seat he held for a quarter of a century.
The divisive ex-pollie has now woken up to the prospect of finding a job, a task he reportedly believes is ‘a bit of a fucking chore.’
‘I’ve been told by my daughters that I need to link in?’ a confused Abbott told The Obiter.
‘I need to link in on the line? And the boss man find the link and links in too? It’s all a bit linky for my liking. I’d rather be out there, shaking some hands, and being with the commonfolk.’
The Sydneysider was seen earlier today balancing a laptop on his knee on the beach, muttering that he had gotten ‘sand in his resume.’
‘The Link In is now covered in salt,’ Abbott whinged. ‘The salty water is in the link. I need a photo to link to connections it says here.’
Abbott proceeded to smash his keyboard in a Hulk-like manner.
‘Siri, make the link make me a job please. I wish to become a second-year paralegal, or failing that, an administrative officer. Please, Siri!’
At press time, Abbott was attempting to send an email to George Pell asking if he could set him up with an altar boy gig.
More to come.