Clerkship Evening is upon us, ladies and gentlemens.
Sure, you may have missed Annual Professional Drinks, but never stress, tonight is the night to make an appearance and ask interesting, thoughtful questions to firm representatives, that also subtly mention the fact you run a small successful entrepreneurial business selling sexy watches, and the skills you learnt from WhoWatchWatchM3!.org are perfectly translatable into the clerkship context.
Not confident in segueing your own achievements into conversation? Well here's some useful one-liners to get the ball rolling - and by ball, I of course mean the fact that you did a week's work experience at Minters in Grade 8!
Just replace [INSERT] with whatever you think gets your name out there:
1. Hello, my name is [NAME]. Speaking of names, did you know that ... [INSERT].
2. Hello, nice jacket. Speaking of jackets, I think I should let you know that [INSERT].
3. Hello, nice shoes. Speaking of shoes, I did [INSERT].
4. Hello, nice nose. Hah, speaking of noses, are you aware that [INSERT].
5. Hello, nice angry face at me interrupting this conversation. Speaking of faces, did you know that [INSERT].
6. I see you are a person. Speaking of persons, are you aware that [INSERT].
7. Oh no! My wallet is missing! Nah, just joking friends. [INSERT].
8. Hello, did you know that [INSERT].
9. Yes, I study here at the University of Queensland. Do you want to know an interesting fact about the University of Queensland, a uni which I attend? Well, I actually [INSERT].
10. LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW! I [INSERT].
11. Hello sir, while I do realise you are currently at the urinal, please let me tell you that [INSERT].
12. Hello madam, yes while I do realise that you are in a cubicle that is very much meant for one person, while you are in here, did you know that [INSERT].
13. Ah yes, I love prawns! I also love [INSERT].
14. Ah yes, I love the drive from Bowen Hills into the city. Here is another fact about me: [INSERT].
15. Yes my day has been good. [INSERT].
16. No I won't leave the building. In fact, [INSERT].
17. Have you seen Captain Marvel? It reminds of me of the time that [INSERT].
18. I literally am here to eat the canapes. That reminds me of a job where I [INSERT].
19. Sorry, I thought this was a cornship evening! Like where we learn about the vessels that transport corn! To corn factories! But I will say, [INSERT].
21. [INSERT], also [INSERT].
22. [INSERT], pause to breathe, [INSERT], [INSERT], [INSERT].
23. Please sir, may I have more jobs? On the subject of poor little kids with jobs, [INSERT about that time you worked at Grill'd].
24. Sorry not sorry to interrupt whatever the dick you were discussing, I did [INSERT].
25. Listen here you snivellous fucks, shove this interesting fact down your fact-hole. I don't care if I've literally run in here from the other side of campus, I don't care that there was a big group chat with other students also using MY segues. Other students merely suck the willy of the big wide world, whereas I HAVE the willy. And on the subject of huge massive willies which I have, I [INSERT].
The last one comes with a guaranteed job offer.