Yep. Today is a good day for Cameron.
It started like any other day. Cameron woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across his head. He plonked himself down at his laptop and started to scroll the Facebook feed. All a normal morning for Cameron.
But then he saw it: the Facebook event for The Gap State High School Formal. First, Cameron was bewildered. Why would a school need to make an event for the formal, and why make it public? This just seemed like the exact virtue signalling Cameron had come to expect from The Gap State High School Marketing team. But an idea began to gestate deep in Cameron’s head.
The Facebook event, as mentioned, was public. Cameron’s admittedly limited grasp of IT and technology led him to believe that a public event is open for anyone to engage with. Now this is an important point – Cameron doesn’t go to The Gap State High School. Cameron never went to The Gap State High School. Cameron has never met anyone who attended a state school, let alone one plonked in the gap between two shit hills. Given the public status of the Facebook event for The Gap State High School Formal, it would be sheer lunacy for Cameron to click ‘attending’ on the event for The Gap State High School Formal. He had no intention of attending The Gap State High School Formal, and if he did Cameron would surely be turned away at the door. After all, Cameron had never been enrolled as a student of The Gap State High School.
Doth madness allow itself to reign supreme?
The idea plonked itself into Cameron like an intestinal worm. This was his chance. “Eureka!” Cameron yelled at his Mum, also named Cameron. “I’ve got it!”
“Got what?” asked Cameron (the mum).
“Get out of my room Cameron,” said Cameron.
“Don’t you call me by your name. I am your mother.” Cameron left in a huff.
“Mothers, am I right,” Cameron knowingly muttered to his desk lamp. “You can say that again,” the lamp responded. Cameron had up until this point been unaware that his desk lamp had acquired the power of speech.
Alas, there were more important tasks at hand and that particular spot of desk magic could be delegated to the backbench of Cameron’s schedule for the time being.
Cameron’s plan was flawless. He would click attending to the Facebook event for The Gap State High School Formal. He would sit back. He would relax. And he would wait for the likes to roll the fuck in. “The newsfeed ain’t gonna know what plonked it,” Cameron said as he lit a cigarette in the afternoon sun. “Welcome to laughter.”
At press time, Cameron had received 2 likes.