English rock group, Arctic Monkeys, have come under fire for their new album, with a great number of fans and critics expressing their grief and disappointments at its lack of quality. The album, ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino,’ has received divisive reactions for its rejection of traditional musical concepts, such as recognisable melodies, understandable lyrics, and being actually enjoyable to listen to.
Generally, reactions have fallen in line with the five stages of grief. To help you identify what stage of grief you are at, we’ve put together this handy list of the five stages of grief you may experience upon realising Alex Turner is not the sexy genius we once thought he was.
Many fans are unfortunately trapped in denial, claiming the new album is ‘...their best work ever! Who actually likes songs which you can sing along to, or relate to… I’m all about abstract space-indie music.’ Psychologists fear many will be stuck in this stage, but it is recommended to move forward if you ever want to reach the ultimate conclusion that the album honestly just sucks.
The life of the party - anger! Being upset and angry at the Sheffield quartet’s abject failure to make good music is an important part of the healing process. Put on ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ and ‘R U Mine?’ and just go out and punch the nearest thing you see - it’s healthy to be angry. Unleash yourselves!
Far from the type of bargains you can pick up at Aldi, bargaining is the reaction wherein one attempts to argue ‘...yeah, I know it might not be their best work - but it’s a fascinating step forward, and there are at least a couple good songs!’ It’s not a fascinating step forward. There are no good songs. Get it together, mate.
The night is always darkest right before the dawn, and this will be your low point. You’ll cry over ‘Mardy Bum’ and ‘Piledriver Waltz,’ fondly remembering the days when Arctic Monkeys were enjoyable. But as gruelling as it may be, get through this stage, because next we have…
It’s just not very good.