21st birthday parties are momentous occasions in the lives of gentrified young people. A night of reflection, celebration and button-up shirts awaits those brave enough to host the fabled event.
However, 21sts are almost always improved when the host follows one simple, yet oft-cited, rule: if your Dad is the weirdest fucking bloke in the world, don’t get him to do a speech.
This might seem easy. After all, if your Dad is indeed the strangest unit to walk this blue planet, you probably would be aware of it by the ripe old age of 21. Yet, despite the ease of adherence to this creed, many young adults fail to place the recommended embargo on their father’s absolute-batshit anecdotes about your Falls Creek ski trip in 2002.
The recent Royal Wedding saga has reinvigorated dialogue about the 21st amendment. Meghan Markle’s father has toyed with the world by equivocating on whether he will attend his daughter’s wedding this week.
In the end, Mr Markle decided to abstain from the ceremony. Markle is reportedly devastated by the development. However, a strict reading of the sacred rule of 21sts suggests that the Princess-Erect should be nothing shy of thrilled at the outcome.
One does not have to be an expert analyst to reach the conclusion that Mr Markle is on odd rocker. His dalliances with paparazzi and inconsistent health issues indicate that dude comfortably sits in the category of Dad referred to as “just a bit fucking off.”
Meghan Markle has avoided disaster by her Dad’s exclusion. If he were to attend the wedding, there is little stopping him from spontaneously taking the microphone and drawing out an extended attempt at a parable comparing his daughter’s journey to adulthood with his pool filter.
Markle has dodged a bullet, that bullet being the lunacy of her dingbat doof-daddy of a parent. Those holding 21sts in the future have already placed greater weight on the possibility of “pulling a Markle” and keeping their Dad the hell away from their special night.