The Obiter is able to confirm reports circulating today that will send shockwaves through the fields of business, technology and philosophy: that captcha was actually pretty hard, hey.

The Obiter has gained access to an exclusive interview with Mitchell Feeney (22), the whistleblower at the centre of the unfolding scandal.

‘Yeah look, like, that was pretty hard hey’ said Australia’s answer to Bob Woodward at press time.

‘Like, these bloody computers must be getting pretty good if I have to pick parking meters out of that. You can hardly see the bloody thing!’

Thank you for your bravery, Mr Feeney, and god speed.

No more to come.