As the end of semester looms, it’s time to confront every lecture you’ve put off watching, start studying for that 50% final, and commit to locking the fuck in.
It’s a thought that can send even the most stoic student into a spiral; a spiral that used to be solved with an iced latte, a croissant, or a large passionfruit iced tea with extra boba. But as this unending cost-of-living crisis rages on, students have started turning to their Spotify libraries for solutions. Ukulele-filled, whoop-heavy, BuzzFeed-reminiscent solutions.
That’s right: the playlist of a burger joint serving mediocre, $20 truffle fries has been resurrected as the Internet’s latest coping mechanism. Though the resurgence of Safe and Sound by Capital Cities might be a recession indicator, students all over campus have been delighted to rediscover melodies that could’ve only been written by young adults in 2012.
“Songs like Fireflies have really booted me out of my mid-sem slump,” gushed second-year student Delilah Heigh, sporting a plain white tee and a pair of moustache socks. “When he sings about lightning bugs teaching him how to dance, I realise that it’s OK to be two weeks behind in Torts. If Owl City could write nonsense and get a billion streams, then I can do anything.”
Caught heel-clicking in the Bagel Boys line, third-year Edward Blunt (sans Magnetic Zeroes) told us that he’s listened to “Ho Hey” seventy-six times in the past two days. “Adulting is hard, but you just gotta do what you can, man,” he insisted, after saying “peace and love” to the confused cashier. “When the going gets tough, the Trusts gets going. Keep calm and carry on chugging your Monsters.”
With the semester only ramping up from here, the dog days are certainly not over. No matter how many times these students beg to go “home, let me go home” the minute they set foot on campus, they simply can’t afford to miss another tutorial. But there is a hope that’s waiting for them in the dark: tonight (and every other night until they find themselves working overtime in a corporate firm), they are young.
Setting the Lawbry on fire until it is brighter than the sun to come.
