That time of year has arrived once again. The last weekend of holidays. Suddenly, three months of saying you’ll go to the beach at some point feel like they’ve flown by like a condom wrapper in the wind. From here on in, it’s essays and KeepCups.
The anxiety sets in - did I do enough? Did I make the most of this comically long break? Was it worth it?
Well, good news! There’s still one weekend left to tick off that final box on your Uni Break Bucket List! And, yes, we all know what that means.
It’s time to try ice!
All holidays, you’ve been flirting with trying crystal meth, but you’ve just never had the time! Well you better get hopping – it’s your last chance! Being a student is about experimenting, and what better way to do so than poisoning your body with the stimulant born of dangerous experiments themselves! It’ll be Breaking Rad!
Engaing in the pure, incredible high of high-quality ice is something that’s all the rage in country Queensland, but something that you’ve managed to avoid since late November (fuck, uni holidays are long). So, why wouldn’t you? Dip your toe into the powerful, orgasmic ocean of strong, delicious methamphetamines.
All your friends are already doing it! Don’t be that sad loser who has to trudge into their first lecture on Monday morning, head bowed in embarrassment as their friends recount wholesome summer stories filled with sunny days and ice-cream, which of course is the term for when you shove meth into a tub of Peter’s vanilla before injecting that shit into your tanned arm!
Yep, summer is the best time of year. And what’s the one thing to make these golden years even more memorable? That’s right, the first steps of crippling, all-encompassing addiction! Trainspotting was a comedy, yo!
So, in the words of Rihanna, ‘cheers to the friggin weekend... now, where’s my ice at?!?’
So much more to come after we get our hands on some more ice, we’re crashing really hard here, send help.