Local hustler, Tai Robinson (22), sits in a state of smug contentment at the thought of the rest of his cohort are busy enjoying themselves and being useless wastes of space over the summer holidays.
That’s right. While you losers are sipping beers and sleeping, Tai is transcending academia itself.
The grind never stops for Mr. Robinson, who is currently undertaking a subject over summer. While weaker men would crumble at the idea of setting foot on campus in the months of December or January, Tai is taking on ECON1010 like a champ.
And he won’t shut up about it.
We attempted to catch up with Tai behind the till at Factorie Chermside, where he works casually. Our field reporter arrived just in time to hear an exchange between him and a middle aged woman presumably buying clothes for her teenage son.
‘Busy time of the year?’ she asked politely, clearly making small talk while Tai tried to scan a pair of chinos with the elastic at the bottom (you know the ones, where some guys look really cool in them but you try them on and you realise that your ankles fully just transition to your calves with little to no difference).
‘Busy? Huh I’ll tell you a thing or two about busy’, retorted Tai as he stopped scanning. ‘You wouldn’t have believed Boxing Day! It was an absolute madhouse in here. Not only that but I’m actually also studying!’
Thinking the bored look of the mother was an invitation to keep talking, Tai pushed on.
‘No I mean like I’m actually studying at the moment, yeah, everyone else is on holidays at the moment but I’m actually doing a summer semester.
‘Yeah it’s pretty tough but I did three subjects one semester and this will catch me up meaning I can finish my dual degree in seven years. Keeps Grandma happy as well, always good to upstage the cousins at Christmas.’
It is reported that while students may do two subjects over summer, they only need to do one in order to maximise the impact when telling people about it.
Good luck Tai!
Editor’s Note: We were sadly informed that Tai was so busy telling everyone about his summer semester that he actually forgot to open any of the lectures or submit any of the assessment.