In a trend that is growing increasingly common, a local slob, Greg Burns (22), has been suddenly inspired to clean his room and take a shower after watching an episode of the popular Netflix show, ‘Queer Eye.’
The show follows five gay men, experts in the fields of fashion, culture, and food, as they attempt to improve the lives of men, who are typically sloppy and/or slobs. The incredible transformations and emotional themes of the show have contributed significantly to its popularity, but today, they contributed to Greg Burns’ realization that he “needed to get it together.’
Conveniently ignoring the fact that the show’s incredible makeovers are due to the comprehensive efforts of five experts, Greg has decided he can turn his life around by tidying up his bedroom and have a shower. Because he still lives with his parents, Greg realised he wouldn’t be able to do a complete home makeover. Similarly, because he is lazy and unmotivated, it is unlikely Greg will be able to do more than make his bed, and do a light vacuum.
However, when interviewed by The Obiter, Greg has revealed sweeping plans to ‘be the man I was born to be.’ He plans on painting his room white, to make it feel more spacious, and hanging framed photos of the beach on the wall. He also intends to commit to a comprehensive skincare routine, which will take 30 minutes each day - a ‘low price to pay for self-respect,’ according to Greg.
Greg finished an episode at 3pm, and as 5pm approaches, his initial burst of inspiration seems to be fading. After having a shower and taking a look at his skin, he has reportedly decided that it’s ‘actually all good,’ and that 30 minutes is a waste of time anyway. The big plans for the room have been replaced with ‘replace the sheets.’ Our punters suggest that in one hour, ‘replace the sheets’ will give way to ‘lie in the bed and have a pre-dinner nap.’
Upon waking from his pre-dinner nap, we suspect Greg will fire up Netflix to watch another episode of Queer Eye, continuing this sad, sad cycle. We wish him the best.