The people that run UQ are covered in mystery. No one truly knows the true nature of these characters and what drives them (outside of money). One thing that is known about them however relates to their childhood. The only way they could become so sinister is if they had to battle with siblings as they grew up, hardening them and dimming their outlook. Exclusive reporting from The Obiter can confirm that sibling rivalry did form part of the dark story behind the UQ administrators and is the origin for one of the most devilish traditions. The timing of the mid-semester break.
It is the work of the devil. Literally 70% of the semester is over by the time the break is reached, leaving students and staff alike gasping for relief by the end like they are begging for water in the Sahara Desert. There is no real relief when the break is finally reached either because all of the hellish assignments (don’t get me started on property) are due immediately after because, of course, it is nearing the end of the semester. So the mid-semester ‘break’ ends up being mental torture for the impending doom that is assignments and exams (mental because procrastination means I am not actually doing the work).
Now you might be wondering how the timing of the mid-semester break has any relation with growing up with siblings. But it is obvious when you think about it for a second. Have you ever dealt with the pain of having your sibling split the proportions of your food into ‘equal’ parts? In an extraordinary coincidence, my cake slices were always somewhat smaller compared to my sister’s whenever she split the cake (of course, hers were always smaller when I split the cake). Our exclusive reporting shows that UQ administrators suffered the same cruel torture. The teachings from this led them to believe that unequal distributions such as these are actually the norm in how to split things (the distribution of wealth may have furthered this norm) and thus believe that splitting the semester into two unequal parts is actually normal. We theorise that they actually enjoy toying with us by putting the mid-semester break so late into the semester, as it serves as revenge on the whole world for not stopping their childhood trauma. Freaks.
More to (mid-sentence break) come.
