In response to community uproar over its decision to allow the advertisement of gambling products on the side of the Sydney Opera House, the NSW Parliament has announced it will also introduce a bill to put an opera singer into every pokies room in the state.
Spokesperson Andrew Shill noted the new policy came after someone in the government finally got around to reading last years Australian Gambling Statistics Report.
“In light of some fairly compelling numbers which show Australians actually have a hell of a gambling problem, we’ve decided that instead of saying ‘no’ to Alan Jones, we’ll just try to offset the effects of a massive marketing boost for a life-destroying habit by making the most popular gambling venues damn near unbearable to be in.”
If passed, the legislation would require an opera singer to be performing at any venue containing pokies machines for as long as a gambling commercial plays out on the side of Australia's most iconic architectural landmark.
The policy has received a mixed reception from the community.
“If the NSW arts community has to put up with Alan’s crap in our favourite venues it’s only fair that we get to annoy the shit out of his listeners in theirs," said participating opera singer Valentia Falstretto.
"It's also the most work I've ever had in my entire career.”
Others were not as pleased, with one avid pokies player calling the proposed scheme, “farkin’ bullshit, aye.”
At the time of writing, it appears the legislation will apply to every venue in the state not in the registered exclusion zone, which for totally innocent reasons just happens to include the exact lot boundaries of the Star Casino.