Joanne Kanne Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and chronic over-sharer, has today revealed further facts about a key Potter character’s backstory.
In a press announcement made whilst curled up at home with a blanket and a hot mug of tea (ie, on Twitter), Rowling revealed to ravenous fans what Neville Longbottom’s approach to dealing with far-right Australian senators would have been.
Synthesising Neville’s character traits is a difficult task for even the most astute literary students, as he ranged from cowardly to brave across the course of the books, and a fat nerd to incredibly sexy across the course of the films.
But fear not! Rowling has confirmed that, if he was in Australia at the time of Senator Fraser Anning’s comments on the Christchurch shooting, Neville ‘100% would’ve grabbed an egg, and cracked it over Anning’s head.’
Indicating that she had ‘always intended’ the character to be one who would crack an egg over Fraser Anning’s head, Rowling further suggested that Neville might even use a dragon egg.
‘Whilst no bigger in size, dragon eggs are important for characters to use because they ensure there isn’t an over-representation of chicken eggs in media. The diversity of egg types is crucial.’
Tragically for desperate fans, little is known about Neville’s likely actions immediately following the egg-cracking, and exactly how many points it would warrant from Dumbledore. But in an exclusive interview with The Obiter, Rowling was happy to describe Dumbledore’s approach to the points system in alarming depth.
‘Oh, he just made it up as he went along. However many points was needed for Gryffindor to win, that was the go.’
At press time, Joanne is considering letting audiences know that prior to the hypothetical egging, Neville served Anning’s far-right supporters piping hot mugs of Buckbeak’s sperm.
More to come.