Law Library Seats Found in Breach of Duty of Care, Students Allege

In a decision that has sent shockwaves through the reading room, students studying in the law library have alleged that the seating has fallen well below the standard of a reasonable chair, in flagrant breach of its basic duty of care.

"The foreseeability of harm was obvious," said second-year student and repeat sufferer Mia Backhurst, gesturing at a chair she described as "more of a torture apparatus than a place to sit." "I've basically run the Bolam test in my head. No reasonable seat manufacturer would do this to a person."

The alleged breach centres on a design so uncomfortable that several students report losing feeling in their lower body somewhere between the second and third hour of a single sitting, a phenomenon one student has taken to calling "constructive numbness."

"I was reading a case about causation and honestly I couldn't tell if the pain radiating down my leg was sciatica or just, like, vibes," said fourth-year student Tom Ashcroft. "Either way, I think I've suffered actionable damage."

Library staff have denied any wrongdoing, maintaining that the seats meet the relevant standard of care "for a chair, not a spa."

"We assessed the risk and considered it reasonable in the circumstances," said Head Librarian Deborah Finch, who was reportedly unable to make eye contact while standing near the offending furniture. "Also, have you seen our budget?"

Some students have gone further, arguing the library owed them a non-delegable duty given the "special relationship" created by mandatory attendance during exam period, and are said to be exploring remedies including specific performance, in the form of a cushion.

At time of publication, the library had not confirmed whether it intended to defend the claim, settle out of court, or simply replace the seats before Obiter finds out who upholstered them.

Judgment reserved.

You Won't Believe These 3 Events the UQ Law Revue Accurately Predicted

All aboard the Stupolar Express - it’s nearly time for the 2023 UQ Law Revue. 

If you needed more convincing to buy tickets to this year’s show (August 24th-26th, people!!), here is a list of three globally significant events that the Revue writers have accurately predicted. 

1. Three house cats would go on an 8 minute, sexually charged adventure into the outside world, ending in the untimely death of a baby koala. 

While this particular scene from the 2022 Revue was described by many as “unhinged” and “weirdly horny”, the Obiter can exclusively confirm that this happened in Taringa a few weeks ago. Spooky, huh? 

2. Izzie Horsley would go on a date with Oliver Twist at the Howard Smith Wharves. 

This one came to us from a source close to Mr Twist, who said the pair were seen last Thursday sinking Aperols and picking pockets at the famous venue. Izzie was unavailable for comment, except to say “buy tickets to the show, bitches”. 

3. Luke Allen would shit himself live on the Today Show. 

You may remember the Clem7 tunnel Revue sketch, where Luke Allen, the hapless radio operator, is struck by a case of the Bali Belly. This actually foreshadowed a real event, as during a ‘meet the intern’ segment at 9 News, Luke was interviewed by Karl Stefanovich himself. It must have been a nerve-wracking time, because it was difficult to miss the stain on the back of Luke’s chinos… 

So, if you want a peak at what the future has in store, buy tickets here for this year’s Revue: https://premier.ticketek.com.au/shows/show.aspx?sh=STUPOLAR23&fbclid=IwAR3Xb3gV6CqOcRHu9seTeb4pTdJMJkSQhtbDbknearN3My2ZIEei9XHFE-k

Disclaimer: The Obiter is a satirical news site. None of the above events actually occurred in real life. It would be really weird if they did.