Third year law student Harriet Andrews learned a valuable lesson today: don’t judge a book by its cover.

For while the Covid-19 pandemic may have killed almost one million people and plunged the world economy into depression, an unexpected perk has dramatically improved the disorganised twenty year old’s quality of life. The CCP and Geoffrey Rush apologist University of Queensland now allows extensions on medical grounds without requiring a medical certificate, effectively relieving Ms Andrews and thousands of like-minded students from the pain of maintaining any semblance of academic discipline.

At press time, Andrews criticised the media’s condemnation of the disease.

“I just don’t think anyone who says Covid-19 is bad has felt the orgasmic relief of receiving a week-long extension, no questions asked,” said an indignant Andrews.

“I think the media should be ashamed of themselves for not looking at all the facts before jumping to conclusions. They should have followed the lead of the UQ Beer and Rum Society, who still have not condemned the virus.”

“I came when I got the confirmation email” admitted Andrews, unprompted.

We salute you, Ms Andrews.

No more to come.