UQ Property Professor Rory Grandoak (43) has today flexed his magnum dong with a grossly gratuitous use of the word “retarded”.

Sources say Grandoak’s epic dick flaunt came during a class discussion of native title. After detailing the history of the Racial Discrimination Act and it’s effect on Indigenous property rights, Grandoak turned to the WA parliament’s attempts to frustrate the development of native title in the 1990s.

It is alleged that at this point Grandoak unsheathed his mega member and rubbed it all over the faces of the students in attendance, proverbially of course.

Despite a wealth of available synonyms - impeded, slowed, curbed, just to name a few - Grandoak settled on the slur in a brave affront to loony lefties everywhere.

Grandoak went on to criticise the generally insufficient quantum of compensation for extinguished native title, labelling the government’s fiscal practices as “niggardly”, as the sirens of the UQ Integrity Unit blared in the distance.

Stunning and brave, Professor.

More to come.