Someone call the plumber, the validation tap is broken!
Hot girls and boys from around the country are coming to the shocking realisation that their social media posts are no longer obtaining the social approval to which they have grown accustomed. This comes after a radical change on Instagram that prevents users from seeing how many likes another account’s photo has received.
Reactions to the change have been drastic and the timing couldn’t be worse with popular music festival Splendour in The Grass this weekend in the North Byron Parklands (read: Not Byron at all).
Clout from photos posted attending the festival is the draw card for many young people who know one of the headliners, maybe? This has meant that hundreds of young people are attempting to resell their tickets after coming to the realisation that they will now have to spend a weekend in Yelgun for no reason.
‘How to sell ticket without buyer?’ has become the most Googled question of July with enquiries for a refund to Moshtix being directed to the terms and conditions that clearly state ‘No Backsies.’
‘I objectively do not like music, I like drugs and validation. And I can get drugs in the normal Valley, not this one in bumfuck Mullumbimby,’ exclaimed local influencer, Annabel Belford.
Scientists believe a chemical reaction in the brain when receiving hundreds of likes is able to ward off hypothermia. In a dramatic twist, the removal of these likes has meant that these same festival goers are now at the risk of death in their climate-inappropriate outfits.
‘This is so irresponsible I’m getting dad to sell our Facebook shares when I get home. If I get home, may as well lay on the road this is fucked. Also, I have a bone to pick with Secret Sounds or whoever the fuck runs this festival, how can they say it’s in Byron Bay? It’s nowhere near Byron Bay there are cows everywhere!’ rambled BAFE boy Tom Garten, clearly suffering the early effects of the hypothermic conditions.
Mark Zuckerberg, we now speak directly to you, these changes are highly irresponsible, please change it back. I want everyone to know I just cracked 200 likes for the first time. Please.
No more to come.