This morning, parents across the globe have been gripped with fury at Game of Thrones showrunners, David Benioff and DB Weiss.
The decision of the ‘Double D’s’ to brutally kill off beloved member of the intelligentsia, Qyburn, has enraged those hundreds who have named their children after the gentle, curious scientific researcher.
‘It’s just fucking bullshit. This character who was the intelligent, logical voice in the show was mercilessly killed in a sadistic way. What am I going to tell my son, Qyburn Johnson?’ said Martha Johnson (48), a major Game of Thrones fan and Townsville resident.
‘And what’s he going to tell his son, Qyburn Jr?’
Martha named her firstborn son ‘Qyburn’ four years ago, in the halcyon days of Qyburn being the chief protagonist of Thrones, and having a story arc as compelling as it was inspiring to youth. Scientific experiments, political machinations, and ending up the Hand of the King? Sounds like Qyburn was a King’s Landing superstar.
And at the end of the day, to see such a brilliant character have their brilliant arc sacrificed on the altar of far-from-brilliant screenwriting, the blood simply boils!
We spoke with Qyburn Johnson forty years in the future, and he indicated that his name was a ‘pretty fucked one to have in Townsville.’ And in other news, Qyburn Jr has just been selected for the Townsville Blackhawks junior squad. Well done, son!
Thanks Australia, little more to come on this front.