This week, the UQ Life team has shown that its finger is firmly on the pulse of what students want out of their university experience. It’s alpacas.

It’s always been alpacas.

Research suggests that looking at an alpaca is the quickest and cheapest way to cure depression. That, alongside live music in the Great Court and a metric-tonne of kettle-corn.

But the Obiter has discovered that some Law students feel that when the captive farm animals start rolling into campus, it’s a reminder that things are ‘not okay’.

Nadia Singh (19) (a pseudonym) shared her own, more harrowing story.

‘I was promised that if I lined up for 15 minutes to touch an alpaca, my crippling anxiety about having 3 exams in 2 days would be cured.’

‘But I swear, when I made eye contact with the animal, it triggered an IBS flare up.’

‘Obviously, I’m now more stressed.’

Other students reported being misled that they could cuddle some puppies in the Union Complex, only to find that the dogs were geriatric and generally distrustful of humans.

Thankfully, the Law School’s student wellbeing team - including Dony Rodriguez and Katelyn Maccarone - remain faithfully stationed on Level 2 of the Law Library, giving out muesli bars and reminding people what happiness looks like.

More to come.